I've avoided posting on this topic for awhile now as I have enough stress going on that it's been hard to sit and actually think about this enough to actually post my coherent thoughts.
Almost anyone involved in Vietnam adoptions know about the issues going on over there right now. The accusations of ethical violations, fraud, etc. Let me say now that this post is not meant to place blame or bash any specific adoption agency. And I would appreciate any comments related to specific agencies or accusations to be left off.
So there has been an official announcement that US adoptions with Vietnam will end as of September 1, 2008. All dossiers must be submitted by July 1, 2008, and as of September 1, only those families who have received a referral will be allowed to continue with their adoptions. For those of you who wish to read the specifics released by the US Embassy:
Announcement
Detailed Summary
I will say that the Vietnam's DIA (Department of International Adoptions) have denied these accusations. People say that the US is just bullying Vietnam.
To be honest, I don't know what to believe. I admit that I'm not the most unbiased person to talk to on the matter. I'm big on not believing everything that you hear. When I first got back from Vietnam, I was constantly having to defend my adoption and correct accusations that were being made about MY adoption experience. I would read things that people posted, and when I tried to correct them, i was being called a liar. What!?!?! I was the one there going through the situation!
I guess my point is that I wish people would only say/write about things that the KNOW to be true. That way information could be more reliable. It's scary how much people take things that other people say to be fact.
I urge everyone involved to read the two articles above from the US embassy. You don't have to believe everything that is contained in the reports, but make yourselves aware. Do your research. Come to your own conclusion.
No matter what side you fall on, it seems perfectly clear that there ARE problems.
But I guess my reasoning in posting isn't really to debate the issue of corruption and fraud.
How is this going to effect our babies? How is this going to effect Chloe's life??? I think that any responsible adoptive parent needs to consider this question. In my heart, I know that this will more than likely come up. Chloe, at some point, will be curious about where she came from. And it would be very irresponsible of me to believe that I can hide this information from her, nor would I want to.
In my heart, I really want to believe that Chloe's background was honestly given to us. That her birthmother willingly gave her up because she couldn't raise her. By her own choice, not based on promises that she would get her child back at some point, not because she couldn't pay a hospital bill, not because she was promised that she could visit her child whenever she wanted.
But in reality, there is no guarentee. So what do you do? I don't know what the answer to that is at this point.
All I can do is be honest with her. But it breaks my heart that she will have to deal with these things as she gets older. It really upsets me when people act like it won't matter--that all that matters is that she knows she is loved now. Because you know what? Chloe and all of these children have suffered a loss. And it's a loss that they are going to grieve for at some point, in some way. And it's something that none of us are really going to be able to comprehend because we've never had to experience it. And on top of this, they are going to have to deal with the accusations of widespread corruption and fraud.
I know Chloe is young now and its going to be a long while before we have to really deal with these things with her, I just think its important to start thinking about now. And I think that EVERY adoptive or future adoptive parent needs to also be thinking about how they will handle this. And I think that it will do a HUGE disservice to them to act like the problem doesn't exist. The problems are REAL. They do exist. The question might be to what extent.
No matter what you believe to be the truth though, the information is out there and its up to you how to explain it to your child.
I would also like to post the following websites:
Voices for Vietnam Adoption Integrity
Like I said, I urge everyone to do their research and not to take everything at face value. Understand the differences between fact and opinion. First hand accounts and rumors/speculation. And most of all, don't just cover your eyes and ears and pretend this doesn't exists. Think about these things and how they are going to impact your life.
