My, how things change...

It's so funny how different things can change your perspective on life.

When the idea of children first came up, I was one of those people who never thought I could be a stay at home mom. My career was too important to me, I would get bored, not feel like I'm productive, etc. Don't get me wrong, I didn't feel like being a stay at home mom was a bad thing, just not something that I wanted to do.

I babysat a lot growing up. I knew how hard children would be. I just always felt like I would need a break from that.

Fast forward to 2007--Chloe coming along. She has totally changed my outlook on life. She adds so much to my life, I can't even begin to tell you. And all I can think about is how awesome it would be if I had the chance to stay home with her. I did stay at home with her for a few months until circumstances changed and I had to get a job. And I admit that it was a very stressful time...but I wouldn't change it for the world, I just wish that I could have enjoyed it more.

I can honestly say that I hate going to work everyday. All I can think about is how much of her life I'm missing. The real possibility that I won't be there to see her "firsts". I go to work and I fantasize about winning the lottery so that I can stay home with her...it's crazy! (Especially since I don't buy lottery tickets) I just want to be around to experience life with her. I can honestly say that I am VERY jealous of stay at home moms. Isn't that crazy???

I will say that there is a priceless moment that happens every single day that I go to work that just melts my heart. The second that I walk through the door at my mom's and Chloe sees me, she stops everything she's doing, starts smiling and laughing, excitedly swinging her arms up and down, and runs over to me! And she just has to sit on my lap for a little bit and do nothing else. If I try to put her down, forget it!

Today when I walked in, my mom was in the kitchen on the phone holding her and she was completely content. When Chloe saw me, she did her excited thing and basically leapt into my arms and hugged me. My mom goes to touch her arm and Chloe swats her away, I guess thinking she was trying to take her away from me. I admit, that wasn't very nice, but it's nice to know that she misses me.

All that being said, I still wish I could stay at home with her. Or at least find a job that I can do from home. Maybe I should try working for myself... If anybody needs any accounting, tax, or bookkeeping work done, feel free to contact me! ;)