In Chloe-Bella's Defense...

I feel like I should cut little miss Bella some slack. I don't know that she is more cranky than normal...it's just that I'm the only one who has to deal with it. I'm sure she would have been just as cranky when her daddy was here if she were in the same circumstances.

Meaning, she wants to be held all the time. And she prefers for you to be up walking when you are holding her. Now that wasn't so bad when both Mark and I were here. We could kind of pass her off. Now it's just me and I'm not really into holding her and walking 24/7. So I try to lay her on the bed and entertain her in other ways...but she's not so much into that. So we end up standing and walking most of the day. But there are times where I simply can't hold her: When I take a shower, make a bottle, clean up, etc. So those times I have to put her down, and like I said, she's not so much into that. Before Mark left, I could just hand her to him and all would be well... So basically, she just hasn't been getting her way as much. But she's so cute, even when she's crying! (See picture in prior post)

So if all goes according to plan, the best case scenario is that I will be home on the 12th. And I can't wait. There are a few things that I am completely looking forward to:

• Being able to eat a meal in peace. I have three basic options right now: 1) hold her while I eat. (This is a little difficult when you have to eat with chopsticks. Plus she's typically crying when I do this, as I'm not standing up) 2) Put her down and eat, but I end up shoveling everything into my mouth as she is crying the whole time. And she is mobile right now, so I can't just leave her on the bed and not worry about it. 3) Wait to eat my food until she is sleeping. Then I end up eating cold food. As you can see, none of these situations are ideal.
• Being able to take more than a two minute shower.
• Being able to use the restroom when I want to...

So Chloe got up about 8:00 am today. By 4:00, I was completely stir crazy, so Chloe and I walked all the way around the lake. Bella is pretty hit and miss as far as the stroller goes, so I thought I would try the snuggli pouch again. I figured out how to get her in it facing out...and she LOVED it. I walked around the whole lake and she didn't get fussy once! Nice!!!

We hung out in the lobby for a little bit with the other families. Of course all the Heart Hotel staff had to hold Chloe, which she loves. About 7:30pm we did a little shopping with another family. There was a street that was closed off to motor bikes, so we thought that would be fun. Against my better judgement I took the stroller instead of the snuggli...big mistake. We just ended up holding a little baby and pushing an empty stroller. Spoiled! She would cry and cry in the stroller...to the point almost hysterical crying. So I would pick her up and instantly she would be smiley...no tears! Sneaky little thing. If I were at home I probably wouldn't give in so much, but in Hanoi everybody would swarm us and try to pick her up to get her to stop crying.

Last, at about 10pm tonight, I received Bella's dossier. It has all of her official paperwork in it, in both english and vietnamese. It tells of the circumstances around her abondonment and life subsequent to being placed for adoption. It was nice to read, but sad. Sad in that Bella is such a precious baby, I can't imagine what it must have been like for her birthmother to give her up, it must have been bery hard. I can't imagine anyone looking at her and being able to. And I can't imagine what it must have been like for her to be just left somewhere, how scared she must have been... I just hope and pray that Chloe realizes that she was always loved. First by her birthmother, then by the nannies at the orphanage, and by us.