Today I'm just going to blog about random items. None of them really relate to each other. Feel free to comment on whatever or ignore whatever. Here goes:
I'm going to start by giving you a generic run down of Mark and I's schedules. Mark works 12 hour shifts at the hospital on Sat and Sun nights (7pm-7am). Which means on Saturdays and Sundays when he is not working, he is sleeping. Which means I have Chloe all day and night by myself. Monday's Mark sleeps until about 5:30, hangs out for maybe an hour, leaves for his jujutsu class and usually gets home right after or as I'm putting her to sleep. Then he works at 11pm to 7am. Wednesday's are the same, only he doesn't work. Tuesdays again he sleeps until about 5:30, works out, takes a shower, and hangs out starting around 7 or so. Thursday's are the same except sometimes he gets up a little earlier. Friday's are about the same as Thursday's.
Basically, what this all means is that I have Chloe by myself during all but a few of her waking hours a week. Plus, I get up with her at night every Sat, Sun, Mon, Tues, then depending on whether Mark decides to go out at night on the other days, I'll get up with her then as well. This makes for a very tired Mama.
Mark thinks I should go to bed earlier. Like at 10pm. Unfortunately Chloe is not at the point where she can entertain herself when she's awake. And I can't just sit her on the floor as she's getting around really good right now, then I have to keep an eye on the dogs, etc. Which means very little gets done during the day. We do a lot of shopping just to get out of the house. But it amazes me much of a mess our house gets in just a short time. I feel once she's asleep, I'm always cleaning. For example, tonight Chloe stays up until about 9pm. Once I put her down, I walk into the kitchen and am greeted by this mess:
An hour later, and I have this: Much better.
I spend the next hour cutting up and sauteing some chicken so that there is something quick and easy to have for meals. Then I have to clean up again. By this time, it's 11pm.
I still have a living room and dining room to pick up. But tonight I'm just leaving it.
So now at 11pm, Chloe is up and wanting to be fed. Which is what I'm going to go do right now.
So now it's about 11:20pm. I have two choices. I can go to bed, or I can use this time to accomplish other tasks that need to be done, plus take a little bit of "me" time.
Other tasks include: Paying bills, finding a job, cleaning, etc and just relaxing.
Basically, there is not way I'm going to be in bed by 10pm. It might be different if I had more help in the evenings, but I don't. So once Chloe goes to bed, I spend until her first night bottle around 11pm doing necessary, cleaning, bills, job searching, feed the dogs, etc. Then I feed her. Then I wrap everything up down stairs and head upstairs. Once the dogs are settled, I spend a little time online, might play a quick game, read, etc. I usually spend the whole three hours between feedings doing this as by the time I get to sleep, I'll have to be getting up again. Once Chloe gets her 2am bottle, I then will go to sleep. Then I'll again get up every three hours on the dot to feed her.
Every once in a while I get a phone call or email from Mark, which a lot of times provides me with my only form of adult interaction each day.
Now, I don't want to make this seem like I'm complaining, as I'm not. It's just my routine. It works for me. If I had a choice between this, and giving up time with Chloe, I would definitely choose this hands down. You do what you have to do. While I would love to just be able to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, you don't really have the luxury anymore once you have kid. Or at least I don't.
Since I totally went way longer than I anticipated, I won't bore anyone any further tonight with my random thoughts...
7 comments:
Welcome to the wonderful world of parenting
Wow, I will be praying for you. Not many people are as honest on their blogs as you have just been. It is just so helpful to let it out. I am sure things are much different since your husband has such a crazy schedule. I do hope that you are able to find some relief through family or friends soon.
Angel, you have always kept a heavy scgedule for yourself, I have always been amazed at the way you have held yourself to it.
Angel, I know you are going through a tough time right now but I don't think airing yours and Mark's schedules on a blog is the right way to get things off your chest. I will be praying for you and Mark but this stuff is between the two of you. I raised 5 kids without a whole lot of help from Tom because when the kids were young he was in school, traveling and just super busy with his job. You will get through this believe me. You are on call 24/7 as a mom but dads are not-just try to work things out with each other. Love you!!
Sleep is so important. It's important for your baby to sleep because that is how she processes the information she's gathered all day into memories and neural pathways. It's equally important that you and Mark get sleep because sleep deprivation impairs your thinking skills, lowers your reflex time and impairs your judgment which are all VERY bad for baby. We also did not get sleep with the twins at first. One of our guys doesn't like to sleep in general, always fights it. The only way he slept for his first month with us was to be sleeping with me. I am not recommending this but am offering it because I know how hard it is and how much you want good sleep. Chloe is old enough (6 months is old enough since you are not sure of her age) to
1) Sleep through the night (8 hours or more without food or drink) and
2) To learn how to put herself back to sleep when she awakens during the night.
I highly recommend the book, "Baby 411." It is a great reference book and, most importantly, has a reader's digest version of the most popular methods to get babies sleeping. I personally am a fan of the Gerber method although I was not as rigid in its application (due to wanting to make sure my children always know that I am there – attachment concerns).
I wish you the best, especially some good, uninterrupted sleep!
Erin
Dang I don't know what all the fuss is about. You get more sleep now than you did when u were in School and working 2 jobs. You know you can always bring Bella over here and I will watch here while you play on the net. Just not in the middle of the night.
Love ya, mom
Don't feel bad about your house, mine looks like that after an hour of cleaning...the more kids you have the worse it looks before you get a chance to clean!
So far as schedules and that, keep what works and try to change what doesn't. Look at your library for a lap time reading or something like that so you get out of the house with other's that have a child close to your age. Sounds silly (I was totally not into this with my first, but after about 6 mo or so I decided that it was worth a try) but it'll keep you from talking your husband to death when you do have some time together.
Your honest about where you are at and that is half the battle!
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